Sunday, September 30, 2012

FAPA Picnic summary

The picnic was amazing. I learned so much, and saw so many beautiful babies. All of the foster and adoptive parents were fantastic, and super helpful. They all wanted to answer all of my and my friends questions, and tell us all about all of their angels.

 I met a beautiful little angel. Her foster mom seemed to think we might be a good fit. This angel will probably be free for adoption soon. Could it be meant to be? The angel fell asleep in my arms while taking a bottle. I was in love.

Foster/Adoptive Parent Association Picnic

I am really excited because today, in just a couple of hours, is the FAPA picnic. The foster mom from our class invited all of us. It's a chance to talk to other people who have gone through this process before us, and to learn, and to actually meet some kids who are up for adoption. My friend is coming with me, who has just started her journey. Greg has to work, so he can't make it. It stinks because he almost never works weekends, but THIS particular weekend, he does have to work. Boo!

We have been working on our family book. My parents wanted to write a little message in it, welcoming any kids who read it, which is really sweet. I have to find more pictures of me. I like to take pictures, but I am not a fan of being in them. I am going to have to get over that! I also have to include a values statement and a mission statement. That is the hardest part thus far. A few sentences to summarize what we want for our kids. That is a pretty lean breakdown to say the least!

We also need to finish our birthparent letter. It's pretty hard. There are a lot of mixed emotions, and you don't want your joy to interfere with their pain. Lot's to think about.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012


I really had myself all worked up over nothing on that HSG!

The speculum hurt...but it always does. I had some minor cramping for about an hour afterwards. Other than that, no big deal. I did take the 800mg of Ibuprofen recommended by the doctor an hour before.

The good news is, no blockages, no scarring. Everything looks good! Now we are just waiting for Greg to get a semen analysis so that we have all the details. Again, we are not going to start the hormone treatments right away, because frankly, I am just not ready to do that at this point. But if we already have all this info, then we can start right away when we are ready.

Sunday, September 23, 2012


There are a lot of things going on lately.

For one, we turned in our preliminary paperwork for adoption. I am SUPER excited. We were the first ones, so hopefully, we will be the first ones processed and the first to begin our homestudy.

I made up announcements for family and friends, and one to put on Facebook. I haven't ordered the ones we are mailing out, because I am still too nervous. They are really pretty, and have the adoption creed printed on them. We also linked to a website we created for our friends and family to follow our progress. It has less info than this blog, because I am not ready to share every gory detail with my entire family, and my husbands extended family least not in that way.

At this point we are taking a break from fertility treatments. We are however, still doing some investigating. We are checking for other causes besides the PCOS for our fertility issues. If you have read this blog for a while, you know that we had this option towards the beginning of this issue, but we thought it was best to wait. Now I wish I had done it then. I am having an HSG this Tuesday, and Greg is having a semen analysis. Once we find out what is happening, the doctor will give us some options. At that time we will decide whether to continue with fertility treatments or to wait a little while.

Frankly, at this point, I feel frustrated with the whole process, and I feel like this can wait a while. I really feel that adoption is what we are supposed to do right now. I feel like our child, or children are waiting, and we need to go find them.

BACK to adoption,

We are trying to practice positive parenting techniques. We are trying to take this very seriously. We were both lucky to have parents who love us so very much, but for different reasons, we both had parents who brought us up in stressful situations. So, sometimes the parenting techniques weren't so perfect. Frankly, it wasn't really different from, as our teacher called it "Good old fashioned American parenting". If you did something wrong, you got scolded and grounded, there was a lot of arguing and that sort of thing. Through positive parenting, you achieve a happier household, and avoid coercion. I really think these techniques make a lot of sense. It was sort of an "Aha!" moment when we talked about them in class. It was like...oh, that makes so much more sense.

Since I am very new to this, I don't want to explain it improperly, so there are some great resources I found online at the bottom of this post. We try to practice a little everyday, although it is difficult since we don't have kids of our own. We just do the role-playing we find online. Hopefully, it will make it more accessible in our minds when the time comes. (this is the actual homework from the class, try using this for when you practice!) (This doesn't really have anything to do with the above post, it was just handy and I found it!)

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Endometrial Shenanigans...

So...the nurse called.

According to my progesterone test, I did NOT ovulate.

Ummm...excuse me? I am pretty sure the spotting and the cramps beg to differ!

I was too surprised to protest, so she then told me the next thing was a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) to see if I have blocked tubes or scarring or anything. For this to happen, I have to take antibiotics beforehand, and take ibuprofen for the cramping. Why cramping? Frankly, because they are putting things up your hoo ha that don't belong.

Anyways, after scheduling my HSG, I realized I still hadn't told her that I was spotting. So I called and left a message.

Why is my body so friggin complicated?

Sunday, September 9, 2012

A little celebration.

I just went to the bathroom, like my hands are still damp from washing them, and I started my period! OMFG!!!!!!!!!

I cannot wait to call my doctor!

Greg and I both had a cold this month, at which point I was not LH testing, and we were definitely not having snotty, snotty sex!

Saturday, September 8, 2012


Last Wednesday was meeting 5...maybe 6. I have honestly lost count. I hope they tell us when to stop coming...

Anyways, the adoption coordinator brought with her a lovely girl of about 15 who was in foster care. I can't tell you much about her, to maintain her right to privacy, but it is sufficient to say she had it rough. She had multiple dissapointments and was obviously doing her best to cope. Her story nearly brought me to tears. It was a lot to take in. When asked what she wanted in a family of her own, she said "Someone who will love me and spend time with me." How can that not bring you to tears. How could so many people have quit on this kid? This KID.

As she told us about herself, we both noted how much she had in common with us, and other family members. Greg kept squeezing my hand. I honestly wanted to take her home with me right then. The only issue was that she said she would prefer to be the only child or the youngest child, because younger kids take away a lot of attention. That is a big issue for me. It's really my only deal breaker. I have always known I would have a big family, and if I adopt a teen who doesn't want younger siblings, it could really make it difficult for me to do so. When we talked to the adoption specialist, she said that while she may need some extra attention, most kids want siblings one day and then don't the next, so I shouldn't worry about it too much. I just don't want to sell either of us short. I don't want to have any regrets if I adopt because I feel like I am losing out on my dream, and I don't want her to feel like she isn't getting the love she needs. I don't want to dissapoint her again.

The biggest gain for me that night was watching Greg. Greg really truly felt for this girl, and felt an instant attachment to her. I know it's different for men. Men need to meet their kids before attaching, while women are attached from the moment we pee on the stick, or, in our case, read a profile. I have been showing him pictures of kids that I am interested in, and I had become attached, to their photos and 1 paragraph blurbs. I had read and re-read them, looking for some bit of insight that maybe I had missed before, and all I could get out of him was "yeah, we should think about it." But Wednesday, and Thursday, he did not stop talking about this girl. It really melted my heart.

This week we have really seemed to be able to identify some needs and strengths of our family, which is a big part of this process. I have a need for a large family. We have the strength of a real support system, and that we are both on the same page. We have the strength that we have a family full of fun, diverse people, who all have different things to offer any child we adopt, from music, to girlie things, to help in school, and of course a ton of love!