Staying hopeful

So today was a rough day. My doctors office that is nearest to me was closed for the week, so we had to go to his main office, which is about 2 hours away. No big deal, especially because it was also near the airport we had to take DH's sister to.

We got there, and I was about 20 minutes early. The lady at the desk informed us that our appointment was actually at his OTHER office, about 30 minutes away, so we rushed to the other office. Luckily, they were running a little ahead of schedule and could fit me in.

DH decided to stay in the room while I had the ultrasound. I needed the support. I had really good hopes for today. Unfortunately, I only had like 3 follicles, and the largest was only 5mm, which isn't large enough for the hCG shot. The nurse told me how large it has to be, but I was barely listening at that point. From what I gathered online, it needs to be around 16mm.

Needless to say, I was pretty depressed. I spoke a little with the nurse, and she said that I am on the highest dosage of Clomid allowed, and that there are other drugs I can try next round, like Femara. I said I thought I would like to try that. She said she would ask the doctor and give me a call.

I was so upset. I really had high hopes for this cycle. DH decided to drive a ways out of our way to the next big city to take me to Ikea, figuring that would cheer me up. Even the almighty Swiss Furniture Gods couldn't brighten my day by much.

We went home, and I did some research on yoga and meditation for fertility since I need an outlet, and I need to practice loving myself. When your body isn't cooperating, it can be hard to love it, and to remember to love yourself, and to not get too depressed. I found some great yoga poses and some meditation videos online that really helped me feel better. I will tell you that I am not good at meditation...a big part of me thinks it's pretty lame, and a waste of time, because my mind races and I don't like to be still for that long. But, if I lay in my bed alone, and just focus on the sounds of the video, I did find it to be relaxing and helpful. The yoga helped a TON! I released a ton of stress from my body. Of course, any physical activity that you enjoy can be helpful. Just remember to stay positive.