Well, the orientation was really great. We learned a lot! It eased both of our nerves on some things, and raised some questions in other places. Basically, they talked about who is a good candidate for fostering and adopting, some of the legalities, and some other basics. We got a big packet of paperwork to fill out about us and our families and our views on parenting. We have to fill it out, send it back and hope they send us an invitation to the MAPP classes.
I was pretty excited about all of this, since our families know, and have been excited about us having kids. Then, I sent my dad a text asking about the dates of his and my moms divorce, and said I needed it for our adoption packet. He called me back a little later to tell us not to rush into having kids. He said he wants us to "enjoy just being married" for a while, and that there will be plenty of time for kids later. I know he is just concerned for us, but what upset me is that I know this has nothing to do with kids in general. This has to do with adoption. When we told him we were undergoing fertility treatments to have a baby he was really excited. I have shared with him and my stepmom about how much I despise the fertility drugs and the way they make me feel on multiple occassions. And I am STILL taking them. I haven't stopped trying to have a biological child. But whether or not we do, Greg and I have always known that we would want to adopt. I have always known that some of my children would come to me through adoption. Anyways, I was hurt. And pretty mad.
It has a lot to do with people's misinformation about adoption. Children who are available for adoption are not drug addicted terrors who have suffered too much trauma to have healthy happy lives. They are CHILDREN who have had some difficulty, most come from backgrounds of neglect, not abuse, and have undergone counseling, and live in foster homes who have helped them understand what normal is. They are not to be feared, or even pitied. They should be loved. If you have ever considered fostering or adopting, contact adoptuskids.com and find out about the orientation classes. You aren't signing any papers saying you are definitely doing it. You are just going to learn more.
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