Updates and Adoption

Well, so far, I think this cycle is another big fat fail. No signs of ovulation yet. In fact, I noticed yesterday that the result strip in my LH test was LIGHTER than it has been recently, and it's only CD17, so that is probably not a good sign. I am a little bummed out, and I am glad that the next cycle will be a break for us. We are not going to do any fertility drugs while we plan for the hormone shots. I need to have some testing done, as does Greg, to make sure everything else is working properly. I need to make sure there are no blockages in my tubes, and I think check egg quality or something, and Greggypooh has to have a semen analysis. Like a dork, he forgot his last appointment, so I am sure it will take 7 years to get another one. Oh well.

On the adoption front, we are moving along steadily. I am still worried, but ok. I just think instead of having a little fear the whole way through, like most people do, I got it all at once. Greg and I have talked a LOT about it, and I know we are ready. I have also done a LOT of reading. Like, 4 books in about 2 weeks, and 1 more in the mail. Plus all of the homework, adoption blogs, and websites.

Here are my reviews of some of the books I have read:

In On It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You To Know About Adoption. A Guide for Relatives and Friends.; and Adoption Is A Family Affair: What Relatives And Friends Should Know
I am reviewing these together because they are pretty similar. I really got these books for my parents, but I read them first, to make sure they were what I was looking for, and they totally were. They give a basic overview of adoption, and talk about how the children are the victims, not the offenders, and how it is important to remember that. They also talk a lot about the right things to say, and the wrong things, how to be supportive of adoptive parents without being judgemental or interfering with their parenting. Overall, great, relatively quick reads that will help open the floor for discussion. Even if you are just considering adoption, I think these are a great place to start. They are very much alike, but I think it is still beneficial to read both if you can!

Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow
*Before I write this review, I have to give a disclaimer. The authors of this book are supporters of Holding Therapy, which I believe to be a dangerous, and detrimental practice. I do not support the authors views on holding therapy (aka attachment therapy or Z-therapy). This therapy has been attributed to several deaths in children. *

This book is an eye-opener for anyone considering adopting from foster care. They do not sugar coat the issues that some of these kids have. While it deals mainly with kids who suffer from RAD or ODD and other severe issues, it definitely covers the more mainstream issues. For example, it talks about how kids who did not get a lot of verbal stimulation as children may not be able to follow commands properly, and that scolding them as you would a child who did not have a neglectful childhood can be detrimental. There are a lot of examples and testimonials from parents and children. They give a lot of interesting tips and suggestions for changing the way you think about parenting and discipline. One of the most interesting things was that instead of giving time-outs, having them do a chore with the parent, like washing the car or gardening, gives them the lesson that negative actions have negative consequences, but also gives them an opportunity to attach to the parent, and discuss the negative action. Another extremely valuable tip was to make sure that any therapist you choose has experience in adoption counseling, and understands that you need to know about everything discussed in therapy, and will not challenge your control as a parent. I could go on about the suggestions for hours. There is a lot of good information in this book if you discount the holding suggestions.