A Brighter Day

Today is the first day I woke up without feeling like I was in a fog. Also, my period is starting to lighten up a bit...thank goodness!

I am on day two of 200mg of Clomid. I definitely had the lightheadedness yesterday, but today, so far so good.

I still feel like this is the cycle. This is the one that I will get pregnant. I hope I am right. After the last few days, I am not sure I can go through another round of Provera. Maybe I need to talk to my doctor about Prometrium finally, or other alternatives.

Pharmacies

So the directions on my Clomid package say "Take 4 pills a day". That's it. I went to the pharmacy today and asked the pharmacist, who looked like your stereotypical surfer dude, whether I should take them all at once or stagger them out, or what. He said that it was fine to take them all at once. I then explained that I had previously split them into two doses a day. He said that was fine too...

I can't even begin to tell you how much that pissed me off. For the love of god, I came in to get some direction about taking a serious business drug. Not only could I have side effects if I take too much, but if I take it improperly it could also not work, meaning that my doctor would up my dosage thinking that was the issue, and then I could have really serious complications. Call a more experienced pharmacist, look it up, GOOGLE IT for gods sake.

I went to another CVS, and told the pharmacist there my issue, and he LOOKED IT UP. AMAZING! For the record, I am to take it all at once in the morning. Now how hard was that.

On another note, I am a little pissed because the pharmacist who ended up being helpful is sort of a friend of my husbands. When he saw my husband, he congratulated him. This really really upset me. I am a super private person in my day to day life. No one at work knows I am trying to get pregnant, none of my friends know, not even my mother knows. I don't want pity, lectures, etc. I don't need people to feel sorry for me, or think I should quit, or if it doesn't work think I should try harder or pity me. He probably won't, but I really feel like now everyone my husband and I know that work at that pharmacy all know that I can't get pregnant naturally. It is really humiliating, and I know it shouldn't be. I feel like there shouldn't be shame, but I feel it.
My husband doesn't understand. He just said that the guy was trying to be nice. I said what if you were taking medicine because you had bad sperm. Would you want everyone to know, or would you feel demasculinized? Because that is how I feel. I feel like everyone knows there is something wrong with me.

*update: I spoke to the nurse at my doctors office and she confirmed that I should take them all at once. I am still upset about what happened yesterday, but not quite so much. I just feel embarrassed. I know he meant well, but I really wish he hadn't said anything.

Here we go again!

So about 2 hours after I posted I found some slight spotting in my underwear! THAT was fast...I am wondering if it will develop into a full blown period by tomorrow? Wouldn't that be great??

I also learned that the crazy bad acne I have developed over the last couple weeks is due to the Provera. I knew that it was hormone related, but I didn't know if it was the Clomid or the Provera.

I ALSO learned that the reason I have been gassy with diarrhea every day for the last 6 days or so is because of the Metformin. Have fun with that ladies!

I am calling the doctor tomorrow to see if they think that I should start Clomid or not. I will let you know.

Waiting...

But not how you think.

I am at my house on my day off with a million things to do waiting for the cable guy to finish. Ugh! It isn't his fault really. Our brand  spankin' new house is wired funny. Maybe I will get stuff done tomorrow. Maybe.

Priming for round two!

I took my last Provera last night! Yay!

So far, the moodiness seems to be less intense. I can tell that I am still all over the place but it isn't as extreme. It probably has a lot to do with the fact that we are really happy in our new house, and that I know what to expect now. Also, I think the worst symptoms were actually after I had finished the Provera, like 3 days before I had my period. I was on a rampage! Hopefully I continue to maintain my balance!

I am really excited and have a good feeling about this cycle. I have been trying to eat better, and succeeding. I haven't been exercising since I got really sick, so I need to start doing that again for sure. I am very hopeful that this will be the cycle. I just have a feeling. I really hope I am right.

No news is good news

So far so good on the new medicines. I seem less moody this time around, but we are only a couple days in. I think the glucophage is messing with my appetite. I am almost never hungry, and when I eat I feel sick almost immediately afterwards. Maybe I just still have a little tummy bug.

Sorry my posts are so sporadic lately! We moved and I STILL haven't gotten the internet hooked up so I have to do this on my phone or if I can steal internet from a neighbor for a second. It will be back up this week.