Endometrial Shenanigans...

So...the nurse called.

According to my progesterone test, I did NOT ovulate.

Ummm...excuse me? I am pretty sure the spotting and the cramps beg to differ!

I was too surprised to protest, so she then told me the next thing was a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) to see if I have blocked tubes or scarring or anything. For this to happen, I have to take antibiotics beforehand, and take ibuprofen for the cramping. Why cramping? Frankly, because they are putting things up your hoo ha that don't belong.

Anyways, after scheduling my HSG, I realized I still hadn't told her that I was spotting. So I called and left a message.

Why is my body so friggin complicated?

A little celebration.

I just went to the bathroom, like my hands are still damp from washing them, and I started my period! OMFG!!!!!!!!!

I cannot wait to call my doctor!

Greg and I both had a cold this month, at which point I was not LH testing, and we were definitely not having snotty, snotty sex!

Docta Docta, Gimme The News!

Lamest. Title. EVER.

Anyways...I have a doctors appointment at 4. We are doing another cycle with Femara, but he wants to talk about the next step, which is injectables. Greg is coming, so that makes me happy. I am glad he tries to make an effort to be involved in this process. He told me the decisions are up to me, but its nice to have someone to bounce my thoughts and concerns off of. I will update later.

BTW...the Provera, so far, is not affecting me NEARLY as bad as it did last cycle. From the first day or so that I started taking it last cycle I was a wreck. I am tired, but that is because I didn't get to bed late. I can tell my cravings are all over the place...I am constantly eating, but I am trying to make sure its fruits and veggies mainly!

*Update* Ok, so basically, the doctor isn't super optimistic about this round of Femara. He did agree to do progesterone test on CD24 instead of 21, to see if I ovulate a little later, or if my progesterone numbers are any higher. THEN...we will do the fun stuff. Injectables. I will probably take a max of 1 ampule a day, with a lot of monitoring to make sure I don't become octomom. He said that my insurance *should* cover it, but that the hospital he is affiliated with has a pharmacy that sells it for relatively cheap, so I could buy it out of pocket there if I don't want to push my maximum. He also wants me to do all the testing we had skipped before...fallopian tube check, more hormone check, Greg is getting a semen analysis (luckily I already scheduled this, since it took almost a month to get the appointment!), just to be sure that before we do this, everything else okee dokee.

How I Met Your Mother and Infertility and Parents

Greg and I love love love How I Met Your Mother. We have been watching from the beginning on Netflix.

There is an episode where Marshall and Lilly see a RE. Lilly checks out, so Marshall thinks the issue is him. He is embarrassed to tell his parents, but when he does...his dad says ALL the things we wish our parents would.

I started crying. I can't find the exact script, but it was absolutely great. The name of the episode is "Bad News".

Infertility gets a bad rap on TV. It's always the woman's fault, and she always gets pregnant in the next episode like there was no issue. They actually say that Marshall and Lilly are fine, no issues, and it's a while before they have kids anyways. Even if they were pregnant in the next episode, they said that they do not have fertility issues, instead of having a "miraculous" pregnancy.

Way to go HIMYM. Way to go.

CD21

It's day 21 of this cycle, and I am pretty sure its a dud. I can't get the progesterone test today, thanks to it being a saturday, so I will LH test tomorrow and go for the blood test first thing Monday.

Here is what scares me about TTC: the next step is injectables. We can try another cycle with monitoring on Femara, but I am on the max dosage, so I don't know what that would do. The issue with injectables is the cost. Without insurance, the cost of one cycle is around $2000 usually. I am super concerned that my insurance isn't going to cover it. I guess a phone call is in order. If our insurance doesn't cover it, we will have to stop fertility treatments, at least for the time being. I'm not super worried about that, since my heart isn't set on this anyways. I also don't know if ivf is something I am willing to consider, since again, the cost is so high and there is no guarantee that you will get pregnant, plus there are a lot of risks. I understand why some women will do it, but I don't know if it's for me.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Ok, so first of all, my titles get lamer every post. Sorry.

I have decided to not be anonymous. Not that I am going to give out all my personal info, but for posterity I think I need to be able to say where I am, names, etc. I spoke to DH (Greg) about it, and he said it was fine with him.

I had to drive to Tampa at 7am in a tropical storm, on a Sunday, to have another ultrasound. Not. Fun. Luckily, Greg came with me and we had a lot of fun, but I always have fun with him. It was even more fun when I was having the ultrasound and the guy said "It looks like you've ovulated!" I can't even convey how happy I was to hear those words. Greg smiled at me from his chair. Neither of the follicles were there anymore! Then, the doctor confused the heck outta me! He said I should have my progesterone test on CD21 as planned to make sure I ovulated.

So here is my question; If I had TWO maturing follicles, at 12 and 10mm 2 days ago, and now I have ZERO follicles, if I didn't ovulate, what happened to them?

ANYWAYS...Greg and I excitedly made the treck through the storm home because we had very specific orders from the doctor to have sex asap! You have to obey your doctors orders!

Also, I didn't see a positive LH test, even though I tested EVERY day. So did I miss it? Or did I not ovulate? Gah! So confusing!

ALSO; is a follicle that was approximately 14mm (at 2mm a day) viable?

Taking charge

I called my doctors office because I hate taking the Clomid, and I want to know if it is doing anything at all, and I want the trigger shot, which will make me ovulate. They said yes! As long as I have the sonogram and it shows a developing follicle, I can have the trigger shot.

The trigger shot is human chorionic gonadotropin. There can be some crappy side effects, of which I think I will probably have all of...since that seems to be how it works for me. The side effects are headache, irritability, breast tenderness, water retention, weight ggain and....depression! Yay! Nothing says "let's make a baby" like fat depressed people.

There is also a higher risk of multiples, which scares me...like a lot. Twins would be a shock, but we would manage. Anything higher than that and we will have to completely overhaul our lives.


Fathers Day I talked to my dad and stepmom about my treatments, and how I am scared that it isn't working and I wished that there was more monitoring. My dad said "Well, have you talked to your doctor about it?" Oh. Hadn't thought of that....I called my doctors office, and told them that I wanted to talk about the trigger shot. They said ok. The moral of the story? Take charge of your own care! If you aren't happy speak up!

A Brighter Day

Today is the first day I woke up without feeling like I was in a fog. Also, my period is starting to lighten up a bit...thank goodness!

I am on day two of 200mg of Clomid. I definitely had the lightheadedness yesterday, but today, so far so good.

I still feel like this is the cycle. This is the one that I will get pregnant. I hope I am right. After the last few days, I am not sure I can go through another round of Provera. Maybe I need to talk to my doctor about Prometrium finally, or other alternatives.

Priming for round two!

I took my last Provera last night! Yay!

So far, the moodiness seems to be less intense. I can tell that I am still all over the place but it isn't as extreme. It probably has a lot to do with the fact that we are really happy in our new house, and that I know what to expect now. Also, I think the worst symptoms were actually after I had finished the Provera, like 3 days before I had my period. I was on a rampage! Hopefully I continue to maintain my balance!

I am really excited and have a good feeling about this cycle. I have been trying to eat better, and succeeding. I haven't been exercising since I got really sick, so I need to start doing that again for sure. I am very hopeful that this will be the cycle. I just have a feeling. I really hope I am right.

No news is good news

So far so good on the new medicines. I seem less moody this time around, but we are only a couple days in. I think the glucophage is messing with my appetite. I am almost never hungry, and when I eat I feel sick almost immediately afterwards. Maybe I just still have a little tummy bug.

Sorry my posts are so sporadic lately! We moved and I STILL haven't gotten the internet hooked up so I have to do this on my phone or if I can steal internet from a neighbor for a second. It will be back up this week.

No ovulation yet, and Pre-Seed

So I did an OPK at 6:10pm, because for the first time in two weeks I didn't have to pee nine billion times. It was negative...boo. I am starting to get nervous about that...I know I shouldn't be. I technically shouldn't ovulate for 3 more days if I have a "perfect" (28 day) cycle.

SO...any girls ttc know about Pre-Seed, or will soon. Since you have to have sex so frequently, lube can really ease the process. Here is my personal, and incredibly embarrassing to share, experience;

Yesterday was day three of "Sex Every Other Day" week. So...ya know. Anyways, we were getting handsy and things are getting hot and heavy, and I remembered that I need to use the Pre-Seed. Of course I have it conveniently placed on my nightstand....sans instructions. If you haven't used this product yet, you get a tube of gel, and plungers that have measurements on the side. It seems I threw out the instructions with the box like an idiot.

So...butt naked, I get out of bed and tell my husband that I now need to use google....butt naked. This isn't the worst part.

The instructions I found online say to fill the plunger as needed, insert, plunge, and then....WAIT TEN TO FIFTEEN MINUTES. It's so the lube reaches your cervix and stuff. Yeah...remember how I left my husband in bed? He was NOT excited to wait ten to fifteen minutes while things get "situated".

Anyways...like a half an episode of Psych later, things were back in action, but just so you know...you have to use the Pre-Seed 10-15 minutes in advance.

Test Time!

So the period is officially over, as of Friday. Today is CD 12, and so yesterday I started LH testing. I actually started 3 days ago, just to be safe.

According to PeeOnAStick.com (which is a fantastic site for info on OPK and HPT's), LH is synthesized early in the morning, so I can't use first morning urine.

So, I ate a good breakfast, drank some water, andwaited to test. According to the site, the best time to test is between 2 and 4 pm. I am nervous about missing the LH surge, so I will probably test twice a day, around 2pm and again, if I don't get a positive, in the evening before bed.

This is crunch time! I am nervous that I won't ovulate. It's stupid, because I know that Clomid doesn't always work the first time, and even if it DOES, I know that I still may not get pregnant the first time.

So I took the test at like 11:30, because I have no patience. It was negative. Took it again at 2:40 PM, and it's still negative. So yesterday wasn't the day. My doctor said to have sex every other day, so we did have sex yesterday, just in case. I will post my LH results for today later.

*Some info: Keep in mind that I am giving my info exclusively. You may not have the same experiences.*

-Clomid costs $11.99 a pill without my insurance, I paid $4.00 for the bottle (10 pills)
-With insurance, my 2 doctors visits cost $175.00, without it, the bill was $674.00 (includes two pelvic exams, endometrial scrape, etc.)
-With insurance, my bloodwork was $265.45, without it, the bill was $6,066.00

Spotting and the BIGGEST fight

So...Provera.

I have continuously posted about how awful and moody Provera has made me. And the moodiness didn't really go away once I stopped taking it. I still was/am cranky and snapping at my DH a LOT.

Yesterday, however, things came to a head.

DH forgot to do something. It wasn't a huge thing. It was a slightly important thing. I basically questioned our entire marriage based on that one thing. To be fair to myself, I think it's more of a build-up of forgotten things lately, but he is stressed, and I am not making it easier with my Jekyll and Hyde impersonations. The point is, I basically told him I didn't know if we should be married, and that I think he doesn't care about me. Then I just screamed into the phone, hung it up and threw it on the floor.

God I am a terrible person.

In all honesty, I am married to the sweetest guy. I love him so much and I know he loves me. I am sooooo glad I married him, like, every day.

In better news I had some really light spotting this morning, so I called the doctors office to see what to do next. I don't know if it's enough to count as CD1, but maybe later today it will be more.

PS: When I do talk to my doctor, I will ask him what to do if you don't get your period after day ten of Provera, just because I never saw an answer online.

UPDATE: I have gone from minor spotting to full on period. I start Clomid on Sunday. More later.

Still nothing...

Well it is day seven after having finished the Provera. No period, but my boobs hurt, and I am still kind of cranky. What gives? After doing a little internet reading (never a good idea), I am wondering if I don't get a period in the next three days, I should request to try prometrium instead? Why wouldn't you get a period after taking it? I couldn't find any explanation as to why, except that I might be pregnant. I highly doubt that's the reason it isn't working. Do I just try it again? What happens? I sincerely hope I get my period in the next 3 days, or I am going to freak out!

Waiting game...

Well, it's been four days since my last Provera. I always feel like I am going to have my period the next day, and I am running back and forth to the bathroom to make sure. I also can tell I am still cranky, and my boobs are achy, and obviously, I am still whiny. I have never before been so excited to get my period!

I also got bills from the doctors office and the labwork. My insurance covered a LOT of it, but I still owe a bunch. For the labwork, before insurance, cost was like $6,000 dollars. I only have to pay $256. I don't remember the original costs of the doctor, but I have to pay about $175. That includes two vaginal ultrasounds, visits, full pelvic exam, etc. Not too shabby. Also, I forgot to say that the Provera (generic) was about $4.00. I tried to find out costs before I started this process, and couldn't find info anywhere. I can't guarantee that your costs will be the same, but at least it may help someone!