Thoughts

I am still dealing with these feelings of loss. That's the best way to describe it. I will be gaining soooo much, but in doing so, I will be losing this closeness and freedom with my husband. I will have to share him, and I guess I have to wrap my head around that some more.

Remember how I mentioned that there was a little boy we were interested in, and then his picture was gone? Well, now he isn't even listed anymore. I am assuming that means he has been adopted, and that is just awesome! I am a little sad, because I guess I had a sort of weird attachment to him somehow. I have learned that I need to keep my head open, and not get so ahead of myself!

I finished my last course of Femara a couple days ago. My period is over. This morning, I had a slight cramp in my lower right abdomen..right where my ovaries are...could it have worked? Do I have a maturing follicle? Time for OPK's!

How I Met Your Mother and Infertility and Parents

Greg and I love love love How I Met Your Mother. We have been watching from the beginning on Netflix.

There is an episode where Marshall and Lilly see a RE. Lilly checks out, so Marshall thinks the issue is him. He is embarrassed to tell his parents, but when he does...his dad says ALL the things we wish our parents would.

I started crying. I can't find the exact script, but it was absolutely great. The name of the episode is "Bad News".

Infertility gets a bad rap on TV. It's always the woman's fault, and she always gets pregnant in the next episode like there was no issue. They actually say that Marshall and Lilly are fine, no issues, and it's a while before they have kids anyways. Even if they were pregnant in the next episode, they said that they do not have fertility issues, instead of having a "miraculous" pregnancy.

Way to go HIMYM. Way to go.

And now a word from our Husband...

My wife wants me to give some of my thoughts on our situation. I honestly find that very hard to do, even anonymously. Here goes nothing.

Part of me is scared that we are going to be putting all this time, effort and money into this attempt and it doesn't work. I suppose that is part of life though. If we already knew the outcome of life there would be no joy or excitement in it. The only other option is to not try, which doesn't seem like much of an option at all.

I have read all of her previous posts and was very upset to read the part where she was afraid that I might not want to be with her, just because we might have problems conceiving. The truth is that I wouldn't want to have children with anyone else. If my wife was unable to have kids, then I would be unable to have kids. Before I met her I thought that I was never going to have children. I wanted to adopt. I looked at it this way; there are so many children in this world that need a loving family and a safe home that it seemed selfish to me to have kids of your own. That is, until I met my wife (and don't worry, we are DEFINITELY going to adopt still!). Now I want nothing more than to have a child who has all of her wonderful characteristics and I guess some of my crappy ones.