Another dud...

Well...I just got the results of my test back. My progesterone level was a .3. That's a big fat negative on the ovulation. Basically, the nurse said that a 12 wasn't big enough to be a dominant follicle, so it reabsorbs (and then you have PCO). Back to the Provera!

I am going to start doing yoga for 30 minutes a day and walking for 30 minutes a day as well to help encourage this cycle. I am starting Provera again tonight...pray for my husband!

Another day of waiting

Progesterone test was at 7am...waiting for results.

My stomach hurts and tropical storm debby is kicking my butt.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Ok, so first of all, my titles get lamer every post. Sorry.

I have decided to not be anonymous. Not that I am going to give out all my personal info, but for posterity I think I need to be able to say where I am, names, etc. I spoke to DH (Greg) about it, and he said it was fine with him.

I had to drive to Tampa at 7am in a tropical storm, on a Sunday, to have another ultrasound. Not. Fun. Luckily, Greg came with me and we had a lot of fun, but I always have fun with him. It was even more fun when I was having the ultrasound and the guy said "It looks like you've ovulated!" I can't even convey how happy I was to hear those words. Greg smiled at me from his chair. Neither of the follicles were there anymore! Then, the doctor confused the heck outta me! He said I should have my progesterone test on CD21 as planned to make sure I ovulated.

So here is my question; If I had TWO maturing follicles, at 12 and 10mm 2 days ago, and now I have ZERO follicles, if I didn't ovulate, what happened to them?

ANYWAYS...Greg and I excitedly made the treck through the storm home because we had very specific orders from the doctor to have sex asap! You have to obey your doctors orders!

Also, I didn't see a positive LH test, even though I tested EVERY day. So did I miss it? Or did I not ovulate? Gah! So confusing!

ALSO; is a follicle that was approximately 14mm (at 2mm a day) viable?

Steady as she goes!

Went back to the clinic today for another ultrasound. Before I get to the results, let me just say how fantastic this tech was. I absolutely adore her. She was helpful, made sure to tell me exactly what she saw, made sure I understood everything...I just loved her. She even gave me a hug and wished me good luck. LOVED HER. She even went over my results from last time, and I learned that my lining was only 4.5mm last time, which is at least .5mm too thin.

The results; I now have TWO follicles on my right ovary, and my lining is now 8mm (w00t). The one that was 5mm is now 12mm (!), and the other guy is 10mm. This is GOOD news! I am a late bloomer! I knew that could happen, but according to Super Ultrasound Tech, it isn't that uncommon, and she has had women who had 38 day cycles who got pregnant. The tech said that the nurse will call me today after the doctor looks at the results to see if I will have another ultrasound this weekend or Monday. 

Here is the thing; knowing that my cycle is a little longer is a good thing, because now we know to test a little later than we were originally for progesterone. It doesn't mean that I will definitely get pregnant this month, or that the follicles will continue growing. It means that we are making progress. I need to stay grounded to stay in this.

I am staying positive, and I am definitely going to keep doing yoga and meditation to keep myself relaxed and centered. Here is my favorite meditation video so far. I hope it helps you ladies!

A little prayer

To all my soul cysters, and anyone else struggling to stay positive and hopeful through their own fertillity struggles.

Staying hopeful

So today was a rough day. My doctors office that is nearest to me was closed for the week, so we had to go to his main office, which is about 2 hours away. No big deal, especially because it was also near the airport we had to take DH's sister to.

We got there, and I was about 20 minutes early. The lady at the desk informed us that our appointment was actually at his OTHER office, about 30 minutes away, so we rushed to the other office. Luckily, they were running a little ahead of schedule and could fit me in.

DH decided to stay in the room while I had the ultrasound. I needed the support. I had really good hopes for today. Unfortunately, I only had like 3 follicles, and the largest was only 5mm, which isn't large enough for the hCG shot. The nurse told me how large it has to be, but I was barely listening at that point. From what I gathered online, it needs to be around 16mm.

Needless to say, I was pretty depressed. I spoke a little with the nurse, and she said that I am on the highest dosage of Clomid allowed, and that there are other drugs I can try next round, like Femara. I said I thought I would like to try that. She said she would ask the doctor and give me a call.

I was so upset. I really had high hopes for this cycle. DH decided to drive a ways out of our way to the next big city to take me to Ikea, figuring that would cheer me up. Even the almighty Swiss Furniture Gods couldn't brighten my day by much.

We went home, and I did some research on yoga and meditation for fertility since I need an outlet, and I need to practice loving myself. When your body isn't cooperating, it can be hard to love it, and to remember to love yourself, and to not get too depressed. I found some great yoga poses and some meditation videos online that really helped me feel better. I will tell you that I am not good at meditation...a big part of me thinks it's pretty lame, and a waste of time, because my mind races and I don't like to be still for that long. But, if I lay in my bed alone, and just focus on the sounds of the video, I did find it to be relaxing and helpful. The yoga helped a TON! I released a ton of stress from my body. Of course, any physical activity that you enjoy can be helpful. Just remember to stay positive.