Friday, August 17, 2012

Selfishness

Last night, I had a realization;

One way or another, Greg and I are coming to the end of our time of being "just us". Where we are the center of eachothers worlds. We don't have to worry about anyone else's feelings, ideas, plans besides our own.

I guess I realized this at some point, because we have talked about it before. It just became....real. What if I don't want to share this magnificent, wonderful, handsome, sweet, amazing man with anyone else. What if I want to keep being the center of his world? And keep him at the center of mine? It actually brought me to tears last night. I have been so gung-ho about the whole process, adoption and fertility treatments and thinking about what we would be gaining, that I didn't think about what we would be losing.

For the first time since we started pursuing having children, I am scared.

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