Saturday, September 8, 2012

Meeting

Last Wednesday was meeting 5...maybe 6. I have honestly lost count. I hope they tell us when to stop coming...

Anyways, the adoption coordinator brought with her a lovely girl of about 15 who was in foster care. I can't tell you much about her, to maintain her right to privacy, but it is sufficient to say she had it rough. She had multiple dissapointments and was obviously doing her best to cope. Her story nearly brought me to tears. It was a lot to take in. When asked what she wanted in a family of her own, she said "Someone who will love me and spend time with me." How can that not bring you to tears. How could so many people have quit on this kid? This KID.

As she told us about herself, we both noted how much she had in common with us, and other family members. Greg kept squeezing my hand. I honestly wanted to take her home with me right then. The only issue was that she said she would prefer to be the only child or the youngest child, because younger kids take away a lot of attention. That is a big issue for me. It's really my only deal breaker. I have always known I would have a big family, and if I adopt a teen who doesn't want younger siblings, it could really make it difficult for me to do so. When we talked to the adoption specialist, she said that while she may need some extra attention, most kids want siblings one day and then don't the next, so I shouldn't worry about it too much. I just don't want to sell either of us short. I don't want to have any regrets if I adopt because I feel like I am losing out on my dream, and I don't want her to feel like she isn't getting the love she needs. I don't want to dissapoint her again.

The biggest gain for me that night was watching Greg. Greg really truly felt for this girl, and felt an instant attachment to her. I know it's different for men. Men need to meet their kids before attaching, while women are attached from the moment we pee on the stick, or, in our case, read a profile. I have been showing him pictures of kids that I am interested in, and I had become attached, to their photos and 1 paragraph blurbs. I had read and re-read them, looking for some bit of insight that maybe I had missed before, and all I could get out of him was "yeah, we should think about it." But Wednesday, and Thursday, he did not stop talking about this girl. It really melted my heart.

This week we have really seemed to be able to identify some needs and strengths of our family, which is a big part of this process. I have a need for a large family. We have the strength of a real support system, and that we are both on the same page. We have the strength that we have a family full of fun, diverse people, who all have different things to offer any child we adopt, from music, to girlie things, to help in school, and of course a ton of love!

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